My Father vs My Daddy

Through out my life I discovered people reacted in many different ways to the fact that I had two father figures. One I have no memory of and the other raised me from the time I was six years old. Some are interested and caring, some are disinterested and some are down right rude about the fact that my father left my mother and me to fend for ourselves. One doctor actually said it was disgusting that I couldn’t provide any medical background on my father. I’m not sure what she thought I could do to get information out of a man who didn’t want to be found, but she certainly made me feel lousy.

For years I referred to my biological father as my mother’s first husband, not wanting to acknowledge that he had any significance for me. The man who raised me was my Daddy. It was not until 2007 that I began to refer to my mom’s first husband, who is my biological father, as my father. He didn’t become real to me until I found another sibling to relate to as a family member. Until then, I had no sense of who he was, no feeling of connection to him.

For this moment in time the issue is resolved.  Father, for me, refers to a biological parent while Daddy is the man who raised me. The first is a formal term and best describes how I feel about my moms first husband and the second an affectionate term for the Daddy I came to love and respect.

Does this mean I’m still keeping my distance from my father? Protecting myself from him?

He’s Not Your Daddy has a New Look – Check It Out!

We have a new look at He’s Not Your Daddy! I’m looking forward to sharing more photos. Check it out and let us know what you think. If you like it and haven’t yet gone to my Facebook page I would appreciate a “like” there too.

Be sure to check back for the next post to discover the distinction between my use of the terms father and daddy. 

 And heads up for all areas that still change their time twice a year, daylight savings takes place this weekend.

Christmas in the country 1949

Christmas is one of my fondest memories

Until my Mother remarried when I was six, we spent Christmas at my grandparents’ home one hundred miles out of the city. Christmas in the country was magical to me.

On Christmas Eve day, my Grampa would harness the horse to the logging sled, the one used for pulling cord wood in the winter. This was not a job for the shiny black ‘going to church sleigh’. Back in the woods, he had acreage where he cut wood for heating the house and this is where he went for our Christmas tree. He would head out that morning with one of his grandsons who lived in the village. They would cut the tree, haul it back, shake off the snow, trim the stump and set it up in the parlor.

After supper, we would spend the evening decorating the tree, the children anticipating the reward of milk and cookies that always came when we completed the job and sat around admiring our work. In those days there were no strings of electric lights for Christmas trees, we decorated our tree with small candles for lights and made strings of popcorn and little red fox berries to add to the finished product. The few precious glass ornaments were placed carefully, up high on the tree well out of reach of curious children. The final touches were silver tinsel and “angel hair”. The shimmer of the tinsel and angel hair was enhanced by the soft light of the candles.

I remember being totally enthralled by the fully decked Christmas tree. If I close my eyes I can see it still and feel the warmth and love that surrounded us, as if I was there in the parlor with them all again.

If you would like to share I would love to hear your fond memories of Christmas.

Get Known before the Book Deal by Christina Katz

I began with books by Cristina Katz and expanded from there.

Get Known before the Book Deal by Christina Katz …Provides insight on how to use your personal strengths  to reach your readers. How to make yourself visible by building on who you are and why you write. Step by step she walks you through the steps necessary to get your name out there, to develop a following, gain recognition prior to publishing.

The Writer’s Workout by Christina Katz…366 Tips, Tasks & Techniques (from the cover). Tips to keep you going every day. Each page has a new tip, and you can skim through the table of contents to find what you need or use the blind method of opening to any page for a quick practice exercise from the tip of the day.

The Characters of He’s Not Your Daddy

All the characters except Tom, Anna and Jo Ann were named during a contest, in which readers chose from a list of appropriate names for the era and personal characteristics.

Tom – a short good-looking man, who had an eye for the ladies. He was in his 30th year in 1941 when he married his 1st wife Anna, who was eight years younger.

Anna – the beautiful country girl who carved out a career for herself in the city, teaching – typing and general book-keeping – to injured veterans to rehabilitate them back into the work force.

Jo Ann– the author and Tom’s daughter from his 1st marriage to Anna.

Ethel – Tom’s 2nd wife who he married in 1953, who had no interest in his previous relationships. She chose to ignore his life before her.

Maude – Anna’s older sister, whose sweetheart was lost during the war. She never married, teaching 7-9th grade until she retired. The sisters lived together for the duration of WWII and were never far from each other throughout their lives.

 Laura – Tom’s mother, a quiet soft-spoken woman who loved her son and would do anything for him. Even to the extent of not seeing her grandchildren.

Herbert – Tom’s father who was no longer able to hold down a job and as a result he was not the man of the house. His family did not respect him.

 Jack – Tom’s younger brother, a pilot in WWII, who left home to escape the unhappy relationship that defined his parents’ life. The two brothers remained close until Tom remarried.

Sara – The beautiful and very young Scottish girl who was the mother of Tom’s Scottish daughter.

FernTom’s daughter born to the beautiful young Scottish girl at the end of the war.

Janice –  Tom’s 3rd daughter from his second marriage. She followed her mother’s lead in that she also refused to acknowledge any of Tom’s children who were not her mothers’.